Harm's Unconscious State
by Amanda M. Daugherty
Summary: Just a little story to make you laugh


  
  
Title: Harm's Unconscious State  
Author: Amanda M. Daugherty  
E-mail: Country_girl_2003@Yahoo.com  
Rating: PG  
Classification: Humor, Harm/Mac  
Spoilers: NONE  
Summy: A weird story.  
  
Disclamers: Don't own the characters or the show, but  
I'll take Harm or Tiner if offered. I don't own the  
songs either.  
  
**********************************  
  
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church Va.  
  
  
It was the middle of a normal day at JAG. Harm  
took his normal route to his partner's office. He  
started to feel a little dizzy, but ignored it.   
Just as harm started to sit down in a chair in front  
of Mac's desk he fell to the ground and a hazy cloud  
covered his vision. Mac worried about him rushed to  
his side.  
  
"Harm are you okay?" She got no response.   
"Somebody help"  
  
  
USS Seahawk  
South China Sea  
  
  
Harm was in his flight suit walking to his plane  
that was on the deck of the ship when he saw a woman  
also in flight gear walking toward him. As she got  
closer he realized that the woman was Mac.  
  
"Mac?" He asked puzzled.  
  
As she got closer he had no control over his  
voice and he started to sing.  
  
  
"I got chills they're multiplyin'  
And I'm losing control  
Cause the power that you're supplin'  
It's electrifying" Harm sang.  
  
  
"You better shape up  
Cause I need a man  
And my heart is set on you  
You better shape up  
You better understand  
To my heart I must be true" Mac sang pushing  
Harm toward his plane.   
  
  
"Nothin' left  
Nothin' left for me to do" Harm replied walking  
to Mac who was daring him to follow her with her  
eyes.  
  
  
"You're the one that I want" Harm and Mac sang  
together.  
  
  
"You oo oo honey." Harm and Mac sang, but this  
time Bud and Harriet joined them popping out of a  
plane.  
  
  
"You're the one that I want"  
  
  
"You oo oo honey." Each time this was sung Bud  
and Harriet popped out of a different plane.  
  
  
"The one that I want   
You oo oo honey  
Oh yes indeed" Harm and Mac sang together.  
  
  
"If you're filled with affection  
You're too shy to convey  
Meditate my direction  
Feel you're way." Mac sang leading Harm all  
around the deck of the ship.  
  
  
"Better shape up  
Cause you need a man"  
  
  
"I need a man that can keep me satisfied."  
  
  
"I better shape up if I'm gonna prove"  
  
  
"You better prove that my faith if justified."  
  
  
"Are you sure" Harm asked singing.  
  
  
"Yes I'm sure down deep inside  
You're the one that I want" Harm and Mac sang.  
  
  
"You oo oo honey." They all sang.  
  
  
"The one that I want." Harm and Mac broke away.  
  
  
"You oo oo honey." Bud and Harriet joined in  
again.  
  
  
"The one that I want  
You oo oo are what I need  
Oh yes indeed." Harm and Mac sang walking  
toward the plane.   
  
  
They climbed inside the plane and flew off into  
the sunset.  
  
  
JAG Headquarters   
Falls Church Va.  
  
  
Harm walked into the bullpen like every other  
morning, but something was different today.   
Everything seemed fine when Harm walked into the  
building late, but as Harm got to the bullpen he  
heard the Admiral yelling and he was sure it was  
because he was late. As Harm got closer he  
realized that the Admiral wasn't yelling because of  
him. Instead he was yelling at the officers about  
something total different.  
  
"Alright people let's try this one more time."  
The Admiral yelled.  
  
Harm rounded the corner and saw that all the  
desk in the middle of the bullpen had been moved to  
one side and the center was now clear. Standing in  
the center was most of the people who worked at JAG  
and the Admiral was standing in front of them.  
  
The next thing Harm knew, the Admiral and the  
other staff members were starting to sing and dance.  
  
  
"Uh it's the MIB"  
  
  
"Here comes the Men in Black  
(It's the MIBs. Uh here come the MIBs)  
Here come the Men in Black  
They won't let you remember  
(Now now now)"  
  
  
"The good guys dress in black remember that  
Just in case we ever face to face and make  
contact  
The title held by me...MIB  
Means what you think you saw, you did not see  
So don't blink  
Think what was there but now's gone  
Black suit with the black Ray Ban's on  
Walk in shadow move in silence  
Guard against extra-terrestrial violence  
But you, we ain't on no government list  
We straight don't exist  
No names and no fingerprints  
Saw something strange-  
Watch your back  
Cause you never quite know where the MIBs is  
at"  
  
  
"Uh and..."  
  
  
"Here come the men in black (Men in Black)  
The galaxy defenders (uh oh, uh oh)  
Here come the men in black (Men in Black)  
They won't let you remember (Uh oh, uh oh)"  
  
  
"Now from the deepest of the darkest of night  
On the horizon, bright light in the site tight  
Cameras zoom, only you pen been doom  
But then like BOOM black suits fills the room  
up  
With quickness talk with the witnesses  
Hypnotizer, normalizer  
Vivid memories turn to fantasies  
Ain't no MIB  
Can I please   
Do what we say that's the way we kick it  
Ya know what I mean  
I say my noisy cricket get wicked on ya  
We're your first, last and only line of defense  
Against the worst scum of the universe  
So don't fear us, jeer us  
We're fearless  
MIBs freezin' up all the flak  
What's that stand for?  
Men in Black"  
  
  
"Men in Black"  
  
  
"Men in Black"  
  
  
"Let me see ya just bounce it with me  
Just bounce with me  
Just bounce it with me c'mon  
Let me see ya just slide with me  
Just slide with me  
Just slide with me c'mon  
Let me see ya take a walk with me  
Just walk with me  
Just walk with me c'mon  
And make your neck work  
Now freeze."  
  
  
Harm couldn't take it anymore. Everybody was in  
on it, but him so he ran up to the Admiral and  
started to join in.   
  
  
"Oh oh oh oh." Harm sang.  
  
  
"Here come the Men in Black (Men in Black)  
The galaxy defenders (right on, right on)  
Here come the Men in Black (Men in Black)  
They won't let you remember (uh uh uh uh)"  
  
  
"A-ight check it  
Let me tell you this in closin'  
I know we might seem imposin'  
But trust me if we ever show you section  
Believe me it's for your own protection  
Cuz we see things that you need not see   
And we be places that you need not be  
So go with your life  
Forget the Roswell Crap  
Show love to the black suit  
Cuz that's the Men in..."  
  
  
"Here come the Men in Black (Here they come)  
The galaxy defenders (Galaxy defenders)  
Here come the Men in Black (oh here they come)  
They won't let you remember (Uh uh uh uh)"  
  
  
Just as soon as the Admiral started the song it  
ended and everything went back to normal. The  
Admiral went back in his office, all the desk went  
back to their regular spot, Bud and Harriet fumbled  
around each other, and Mac was in her office working  
as usual.  
  
  
Clayton Webb Residence  
Alexandria Va.  
  
  
  
The next thing Harm new he was at Clayton Webb's  
house. The only other time he was there was when  
Webb had faked his death and Harm and Bud went to  
'feed the fish and water the plants'. Then there  
were no cars in the driveway and there certainly  
weren't any people there.  
  
Totally opposite from tonight. There were tons  
of expensive cars and official looking people in the  
house.  
  
Mac and Webb were in the house getting  
congratulated on their engagement from several of  
Webb's collages when the large, double front doors  
of Webb's home burst opened and in walked Harm  
dressed in his dress whites and gold wings sparkling  
by the candlelight on the chandelier. All of a  
sudden Harm started to sing when the music played.  
  
  
"Blame it all on my roots  
I showed up in boots" Harm looked down and sure  
enough instead of his dress shoes he had on a pain  
of snake skin cowboy boots.  
  
  
"And ruined your black tie affair  
Last one to know  
Last one to show  
Last one you thought you'd see there  
I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes   
When I took his glass of champagne." Harm sang  
taking Webb's glass of Champagne. He raised his  
glass to Mac and continued.  
  
  
"I toasted you  
Said honey we may be though  
But you'll never hear me complain, cause..."  
  
  
Just then all the doors opened and in walked a  
group of a hundred sailors, all with full beer mugs.  
Some staggered around behind Harm. Others danced  
with or without someone, but all sang with Harm.  
  
  
"I got friends in low places  
Where the whiskey drowns and   
The beer chases my blues away   
And I'll be okay" harm sang throwing his voice  
over the others.  
  
  
"Oh I'm not big on social graces   
So I think I'll slip on down to the Oasis  
Cause I got friends in low places"  
  
  
"Well I guess I was wrong  
I just don't belong  
But I've been there before  
Everything's all right  
I'll just say goodnight  
And I'll show myself to the door  
Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene  
Just give me an hour and then   
I'll be as high as that ivory tower  
That you're living on"  
  
  
"Cause I got friends in low places  
Where the whiskey drowns and   
The beer chases my blues away  
And I'll be okay  
I'm not big on social grazes  
Think I'll slip on down to the Oasis  
Cause I got friends in low places."  
  
  
"Cause I got friends in low places   
Where the whiskey drowns and   
The beer chases my blues way  
And I'll be okay  
I'm not big on social grazes   
Think I'll slip on down to the Oasis  
Cause I got friends in low places"  
  
  
"Yeah, I got friends  
In low places"  
  
  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda Md.  
  
  
"Harm, Harm" Harm heard Mac call as he slowly  
came to.  
  
"Mac" Harm opened his eyes to find Mac holding  
his hand and in a hospital bed.  
  
"Yes Harm."  
  
"What happened? Why am I here? What do you see  
in Webb? Mac-"  
  
"Harm what are you talking about?" Mac cut him  
off.  
  
"You and Clay. You're getting married and I  
crashed the party because I love you, but you're  
going to marry Webb."  
  
"Harm you're not making any sense. I'm not  
marrying Clay and you love me?" Mac repeated not  
sure she heard him right.  
  
"You didn't know?"  
  
"No, Harmon. I hoped, but I didn't think it  
could ever happen between us."  
  
"Excuse me, but I need to check up on Mr. Rabb"  
the doctor said interrupting the partners.  
  
"Sure. I'll be back in a minute Harm."  
  
About ten minutes later Mac was waiting by the  
door to Harm's room when the doctor come out.  
  
"You can go back in now" The doctor started to  
walk away, but stopped when Mac called after him.  
  
"Doctor, Harm said he some pretty weird stuff  
while he was out. Why is that?"  
  
'I can't be for certain, but I think it was the  
drug. We'll do more test to be sure that there is  
not serious damage done to Mr. Rabb."  
  
"Thank you." Mac stated and then went back into  
the room where Harm was flipping through the TV  
channels trying to find something to watch.  
  
"I hate hospital TVs they never have anything  
on."  
  
"Well, hopefully you'll be released pretty  
soon." Mac smiled taking the remote from Harm and  
turning the TV off.  
  
"Hopefully that way I can get back to work."  
  
Mac's smiled faded and she became depressed.   
Harm saw this look and knew that she would kill him,  
but he didn't care.  
  
"You know Sarah." Mac was startled when he used  
her first name. "I didn't say what I'd be working  
on."  
  
They both smiled and then Mac went down for a  
kiss. Knowing that the result from this would be  
both good and bad.   
  
THE END !!!!  
  
Songs: You're the One That I Want from Grease.  
MIB from the movie Men in Black  
Friends in Low Places sung by Garth Brooks.  
  
I know the MIB song doesn't fit, but I want to see the  
Admiral dance.  
  
Amanda  
  
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